Hate Week: My Saturday Fantasy and Nightmare

Michigan-Sucks

As we continue Hate Week here on 6 Rings, I want to dig into my best case and worst case scenarios for Saturday’s matchup. With the Buckeyes’ having little to win and everything to lose, they are faced with a potential life-threatening game.

Riding an impressive 23-game winning streak, Ohio State continues to be disrespected by the analysts, voters and computers. Ever since Urban Meyer has taken over, the Bucks have not experienced a loss. They’ve continued to do everything right and have continued to beat up teams in what is viewed as a “weak” B1G conference. Still, though, they are passed in the polls by undeserving teams, over looked as a dominant football team and seen as “lesser” than several teams both ahead and below them.

Heading into a rivalry matchup with a struggling Michigan football team, the Bucks have everything to lose and little to win. This quandary leaves me imagining a great fantasy, while fearing a tremendous nightmare. Here’s what I mean…

Take Me To Fantasyland

Sunday Headline Reads: “Bucks Roll, Hoke Era Ends in Ann Arbor” newspaper fantasy

Nothing would make me happier than watching Brady Hoke’s run in Ann Arbor come to an end on Saturday. In fact, I don’t think I could ask for anything more. I want Urban to pour salt on a brutal wound that is the Michigan Wolverines that results in the immediate firing of their coach. It has been a disappointing season for that team up north and I want to be the ones who put them even further into their misery.

How Does It Happen?

-Tom Herman calls an all out Carlos Hyde lovefest and he continues to eat the scrumptious snack he’s been chewing on all season long (Like Kobyashi!). He leads the Bucks to a record day on the ground and the Wolverines have no answer for El Guapo.

-Braxton creates his “Heisman Moment” after methodically breaking down the Michigan defense for the whole game. He “Dots the I” on the game with an 85-yard shimmy, finishing it off with a Desmond Howard Hesiman pose. He’ll after be replaced by Kenny G to prove that our second team is still better than their first team.

-Ryan Shazier racks up 4.5 sacks and 19 tackles while ruthlessly smacking Devin Gardner for 4 quarters. If you watched the Michigan v. Michigan State game, you saw how beaten and shaken up Garnder was after every play. It looked as if he wouldn’t be able to even make it to the showers that night. I want Shazier to inflict more pain.

-Urban celebrates with his coaching staff and seniors for the entire remaining 2 and a half minutes of the game while Kenny G takes the most joyful 3 kneel downs of his career. While the entire stadium is weeping in sadness, Brady Hoke goes to take his last coaches hand shake wearing a Michigan polo.

Wake Me Up From This Nightmare

Sunday Headline Reads: “Streak, Title Hopes Washed Away in Ann Arbor” newspaper-1

Nothing would make me sadder than watching as the Buckeyes completely drop an egg in Ann Arbor and lose to the worst Michigan team in several years to wash away both their streak and their title hopes. Everybody seems to be talking about Ohio State as being unfairly passed up for a chance at the national championship game, while overlooking this week’s matchup with Michigan. My nightmare would feature the Bucks overlooking Michigan and getting upset by a much weaker team. Not only would a loss mean that Michigan got the best of us, but it would get rid of any chance we have at a National Championship. This would be the second time my heart breaks in one week (See Derrick Rose).

How Does It Happen?

-Carlos Hyde gets knocked out of the game in the first quarter with an apparent leg injury. Tom Herman therefore adjusts his gameplan and throws off the entire rhythm of the offense.

-Because it is snowing in Ann Arbor, Braxton Miller can’t find his touch in the passing game and Greg Mattison draws up a defensive scheme to take out his legs. Guiton doesn’t get any tick until late as a last resort but stirs up a touchdown drive that ultimately does not effect the outcome. Because of this, controversy arises and team chemistry is hurt going forward.

-Shazier and the defense are swiss cheese. Fitz Toussaint is able to rush for far more yards than he should ever rush for, revealing problems within the Buckeyes’ front 7.

-Roby continues to struggle and gets torched by Jeremy Gallon as bad as he did by Jared Abbrederis. Nobody else steps up in the secondary and Gardner dominates an exposed Buckeye defense.

Buckeye Fans, Start Saying Your Prayers for the Former, rather than The Latter

Go Bucks.  

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