Michigan Side: My Saturday Fantasy and Nightmare

Since Mack did one from the Buckeye perspective I figured I would trot this out from the Michigan side. Ours is not as sunny.

Michigan entered Hoke’s third year with some optimism with Taylor Lewan coming back and Devin Gardner taking over at QB to run Al Borges’s preferred pro style attack. Everything was all good for two games as Devin played great against Notre Dame and Michigan was expected to contended to go to Indy. Since then it has been downhill and Michigan is 1-3 in November and the offense is struggling to crack 200 yards a game. So while the Buckeyes are dreaming of Pasadena, I am just dreaming of a functional offense that can make Michigan competitive.

Here are the dream/nightmare headlines for Sunday Morning…fakeheadline1

Fantasy Kingdom

Sunday Headline Reads “Michigan Wins, I Cry Like A School Girl After She Learns Snape Killed Dumbledore”

I know this is an absurdly long headline but since it is not going to happen I can do what I want. This would go a long way to Michigan fans getting over the rest of the season and getting this rivalry back on track. Since this senario is a fantasy I will also meet a nice young lady Saturday night and she asks me to compare this win to 1969. I then immediately propose.

How does this happen?

  1. The entire OSU team gets sick from a horribly under cooked Thanksgiving meal. Everyone suspects foul play
  2. The Michigan defense forces five turnovers. Because apparently four is not enough
  3. Matt Wile has a good day punting.
  4. Devin Gardner goes back in time and gets his ND Mojo back.
  5. Al Borges says he has been throwing all of Nonmember for this game. I somehow believe this

The Nightmare After Thanksgivingfakeheadline2

Sunday Headline Reads “OSU Wins Easily, Michigan Decides to Retain Whole Staff.”

Again probably not a realistic headline but who the hell reads newspapers anyway. The Buckeyes thrash Michigan into oblivion and march into Indy undefeated and with a win can go to the National Title game. (This mean Auburn beats Bama too.) Hoke decides patience is needed with Borges because three years is not enough time.

How does this happen?

  1. OSU’s offensive line mauls Michigan’s defensive front seven.
  2. Braxton fails to throw an incompletion
  3. The Michigan offense plays like it has all of November
  4. Gus Malzahn is a wizard and somehow beats Alabama

I don’t think I have a future as  newspaper editor. Go Blue

 

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