There is an excellent slate of games this week although I will go light on the drinking after trying to relive college last weekend. The NFL is in full swing as well and while I won’t focus much on that I will try and make as many Todd Haley jokes as humanly possible. Remember that Steelers preview I wrote, yea, about that…

Thursday Night Drinking Schedule

730pm TCU at Texas Tech ESPN: Time for America to fall in love with Kliff Kingsbury. This will be a tough matchup for the Red Raiders but if they can win this their season sets up nice for them to head deep into October undefeated. Frosh Baker Mayfield has had a great start and will face the best defense he might see all year. (Unless GERG can fix the Texas defense. (That’s my first GERG joke of the year and it feels good. Seriously try it to yourself at home.))

Flip the remote: Jets at Pats NFL Network: Somehow the Jets won in week one. If they can win here they might just become America’s favorite Frankenstein team. Green, ugly and yet it can’t be killed.

Friday Night Drinking Schedule

705pm Cubs at Pirates Root Sports: The Pirates will have a winning season! So pumped for all my buddies that have kept up with this team through all the crap years. Summed up best here.

Saturday Day/Afternoon/Night Drinking Schedule

9am College Gameday ESPN: Get your Bama/A&M hype right here. I am sure Maziel will be brought up and maybe even Nick Saban.

Noon UCLA at Nebraska ABC: The start of four Pac 12 vs B1G matchups throughout the day. UCLA upset the Huskers last year in LA and hope to do the same here. All eyes will be on the Nebraska defense which has been a sieve. (Its all your fault, its all your fault.)

Flip the remote: Akron at Michigan BTN: Hey come check us out. Our QB wears 98 and we just beat ND. Pretty cool stuff.

330pm Alabama at Texas A&M: You may not have heard that these two teams are playing. You will feel right at home when you hear the CBS intro. I will have more on this game in RFF. Or you can just read Smart Football.

Flip the remote: Tennessee at Oregon ABC: Butch Jones is off to a nice start but now he faces the tough part of their schedule. For Oregon they got to see their old coach do his thing in the NFL Monday night, maybe they can top him here.

7pm Ohio State at Cal FOX: We get Gus Johnson for this game so I am hoping that means some absurd upset as frosh QB Jared Goff leads the Bears to victory. This upset may require the Stanford band to make an appearance somehow.

Flip the remote: Washington vs Illinois BTN: What I assumed would be a blowout may actually be a game and it will randomly take place at Soldier Field in Chicago. Probably the only way to get Illinois grads to go to games. (That and booze.)

You won’t actually be able to watch this: Ole Miss at Texas LHN: You probably don’t have Longhorn Network or have any real idea what it even is. Just know that it if no one actually watches this game and you see Texas won on the bottom line, be skeptical. You never know what Citizen Mack is up to.

1030pm Wisconsin at Arizona State ESPN: While the rest of you socialites will be out carousing  the town I will be at home watching 2 teams that aren’t gaining much attention. Winner for sure will start to get some publicity as each has a tough road game coming up. (The Badgers at the Shoe on Sept 29th and the Sun Devils at Stanford next week.)

Sunday Funday Schedule

1pm: Man I hope we get the Eagles game. Yes I want to watch a team from Philly.

4pm: Jags vs Raiders. Henne vs Pryor. Life and death stuff here folks.

8:30 pm: Seahawks vs 49ers. Yes please

Monday Funday Schedule

8:30pm: Steelers at Bengals. I am only watching to see if Ben punches Haley in the face. If we are going to be bad we might as well be entertaining.